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LadyCReturns

8/1/2007 1:55 pm
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Thaaaaaat's what I was going to talk about today.

We got Sharks. Not just out normal sharks, BIG EFFING GREAT WHITES! They're not eating people or owt, just sharkin around. They've probably been here all along and we just failed to notice them.

Now what?

Chumming and tourist boats, which will lead to bolshy Great Whites, which will lead to surfers getting eaten, which will lead to Tabloid Vs Sharks (Great White in cahoots with Osama Bin Laden, Great Whites sneaking in immigrants, Great White told Stingray to kill Steve Irwin, Great White on Big Brother etc etc) which will lead to testosterone fuelled massacre of all sharks (including our lovely Basking sharks) which will lead to the complete collapse of a thus far undisturbed part of the eco system which will lead to an increase in the Seal population which will lead to bolshy seals which will lead to massacre (via Tabloids - see above)

Best shark keadline wins a prize ('THE SUN' today bore the legend --- Duh-Dum Duh-Dum, which is a fairly accurate description of the noises emitted by most of their journalists when broken down into its component parts)


Image. Well it was a fucking shark but apparently I have to get in the fucking water and fucking photograph one my fucking self. FUCK IT!

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sweetboytoy51
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8/1/2007 6:48 pm
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[quote]

Well, I have no headline, but earlier today I stumbled onto this and was reminded what an amazing monologue it was/is:

Brody: (pointing at Quint's tattoo) What's that one?

Quint: That there, Chief, is for the U.S.S. Indianapolis.

Hooper: You were on the Indianapolis??

Brody: What happened?

Quint: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb.

Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail.

What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo? And the idea was, the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes, he wouldn't go away.

Sometimes, that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is, he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in, and... they rip you to pieces.

You know. by the end of that first dawn, we lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men: they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin' Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist.

At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here -- anyway, he spotted us and a few hours later, a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know, that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again.

So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest. June the 29th, 1945.

Anyway, we delivered the bomb.


LadyCReturns replies on 8/2/2007 3:23 am:
I like the fact that they really loathed each other too. In fact the line 'Can't take this abuse much longer' is one of my favourites. I really enjoyed that sweet. Ta.

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