Mind the doormouse.

Stop Watching This Blog (50)

I don't drink water - fish fuck in it.

This blog is visible to alt members only. If I find any of it reproduced elsewhere I will dice your spleen and pan fry it.

Branded Aug 21, 2007 5:32 pm
668 views

Yeah right....

But seriously, I just got my brand-on. Y'all gotta love my whole Godfather thing.

Check it check it! Me? Excited? MUCH?


Image - I'm not a businessman I'm a business...maaaaan! Jay-Z
1 comment
Super Mario and King Arthur Aug 21, 2007 7:41 am
804 views

First off kiddies, I'm sorry I'm not responding to comments - and until TLA sack Super Mario and Luigi as techies I shan't be as it seems to put my PC into meltdown.

Secondly, I have been reading King Arthur and the knights of the round table, which has led to me leaping out on people and challenging them to duels, shouting Gadzooks! and Forsooth! and Have at thee varmint! and generally making a nuisance of myself. Business as usual there then. I am also shouting 'AHA!' a lot, but in a Gadzooksy way, not a Winnie the Pooh way. You see?

Good.

I am also considering fashioning a 'steed' from something...possibly cardboard boxes and a blanket. I will name him Jim and take him on a quest for the holy grail. I'm quite hoping the holy grail is in a pub somewhere.


Image - Strap on Jane and I looking for loose change on the floor
1 comment
Huntisms Aug 19, 2007 12:30 pm
661 views

I AM LISTENING TO 'LIFE ON MARS' VERY VERY LOUDLY

It's a fucking good tune you know.


He's got fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course
0 comments
Entry music Aug 19, 2007 11:33 am
910 views
Packed club, everyone happy and a the bar. In I come - with my entourage of ten on leashes. Does the DJ play -
Theme tune from 'Rocky'
Kanye West 'Harder, Faster, Stronger'
Elvis Presley 'See see rider'
Carl Orff 'O' Fortuna from Carmina Burana
Theme tune from 'The price is right'
Prodigy 'smack my bitch up'
New option - add your own
   
5 comments , 15 votes
The best email Aug 18, 2007 3:52 pm
625 views

There's nothing better than getting something like this. I'd actually felt during the session that he was bored. Just goes to show:

i just wanted to say that i enjoyed our chat. i must say it's very different to alot of 'sessions' i've had in the past. i'd say it was good that you didnt feel you had to make me do a whole load of stuff in the first session. a lot of others feel they have to and sometimes it feels extremely false. there's a whole load of other stuff you do different to others but i won't go into them as i'm
sure you already know, and perhaps wouldn't appreciate the comparison to those who don't perhaps have the genuine interest in bdsm that you do

I rock I do....
0 comments
Worm hats and amyl nitrate. Aug 18, 2007 1:43 pm
634 views

Oh it's all just so fucking BLAH

Firstly, cop a load of this.

Who Will Vouch For Max And Jen?

Having been on the receiving end of a bear hug from Mssr Faust I can assure anyone who questions his carbon-based, giant, Norwegian self that he is very real and very strong

I hate sock puppets.
0 comments
Down down Down Aug 16, 2007 6:10 pm
830 views

Right.So everyone thinks I'm a lunatic right?

Good

Saves me having to live up to anything. Ok so today I wanted to talk about many things, cabbages and kings and all that; but I can't remember what seemed so eloquent this morning. So I'm to talk about old age.

One of my many many sisters has just come out of hospital. She got morphine and all kinds of shit and ambulances and all that near death crap my sisters like to do to me from time to time to keep me on my toes. Fucking bitches. They know nurses love me with my bouncing on beds, stealing of drugs, taking over the tea round, drip-surfing, OK magazine dramatising, Hide and seeking - self.

What freaked me out whilst threatening to drink her IV and repainting her walls to my taste was the old ladies. Do I want to die like that? Taken 'care' of, without family, friends or state to protect me from scary nurses who see me as nothing but an inconvenience? Do I want to die in a magnolia, piss-scented, soon to-be-shut-down-under-new-cutbacks-ward? Do I want to die wiped by women I didn't give birth to? Do I want to die surrounded by no-one? Just proud I outlasted all the other cunts in the nursing home?

Do I want to die in my chair?

Do I want to die in a car?

Do I want to die in suspicious circumstances?

Do I want to die bloated by drugs in my bath or on my toilet?

Do I want to be 150 years old and decaying before my own eyes? Unable to detect the stench of my own rotting carcass because my senses have packed in?

Do I want to live my childhood dream of dying after throwing myself off an industrial chimney?

I could go on about this all night. There was a point, but I blunted it lest Wonka Winehouse took over and stabbed me through my black lungs....

How do you want to die?
5 comments
Virtual drowning Aug 15, 2007 2:41 pm
561 views
Is what happens when you lift an email embargo.

I shall surface shortly....

snorkel
1 comment
Giraffes Aug 12, 2007 1:59 pm
757 views

Firstly - and most importantly, Croquet rocks. I have been playing all afternoon whilst shouting 'OFF WITH HER HEAD!'

Secondly - I now find myself in a curious position. I have lots to do!

I'm a lazy sod by nature but I now have a bustling events calendar right up until next January. A lot of those events including 'Lady Constantine and entourage'. Most of you who've seen me about know I travel at the centre of a dedicated pack; kind of like the death star, with little ships pootling off to do errands.

I am at the point where I'm considering updating my profile (but am worried in case it leads to me falling down a rabbit hole) to include the desire for more of you; perhaps a submissive sled dog team...I was discussing the fetish Olympics with the original Lady C the other day, which of course ended up in the pair of us doubled over laughing.

So if you're London-based. Clean. Clever. Genuine. Available for real evening engagements and fidgeting in your seat with excitement at this very moment I am lifting my email embargo temporarily. Be quick.


Those giraffes you sold me,they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold me queer giraffes. I want my money back.
2 comments
Wading Aug 11, 2007 12:24 pm
597 views
There are plenty of funny, articulate, inspirational, fucking nuts, over-the edge, clever, creative people out there.

It's just getting harder to find them because the plebs keep Breeding.
0 comments

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