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Blogs > LadyCReturns > Mind the doormouse. > inbox. outbox.

inbox. outbox.   Watch Post |  Post a comment

LadyCReturns

5/16/2008 9:58 am
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We are all used to enjoying the contents of my email inbox, hell, it's become a lovely passtime.

But when I am out and about it's a pain to keep up with, so for the first time, ladies and gentlemen, I present my text inbox (and outbox)

I love random snippets from people's phones, like I love finding shopping lists.

INBOX

*Indiana Jones. Without a hat

*Go on Lucy! That's it Woooh! (it's a praise thing)

*Excellent work! Slinky Pete has taken a wife. Or possibly civil partner. I have found a caravan so small that whoever accompanies me on my excursions will have no choice other than to lie on top of me. Shame.

*Oh my God! He "loses his mind" in the middle but it "COMES BACK". Woooooh

*Check this. I'm sitting by the pool watching a crew build a stage around it which I'll be Dj'ing on, flirting with you, lovely.

*you got an AMEN sista! I am working on my morris dancing running man technique and will show you when you come to stay.

*See, this won't do at all. You're not here.

*probably kill a mortal enemy for you.

*I'll bring salt.

* I told Jenny about the new club night - she doesn't believe you'll do it, some people have no vision...

*Am on the gospel aerobics. This is fucking amazing.

*Nowt wrong with my appetite more's the pity! Thought this cancer malarkey made you thin! Yes my lampshade is only cheap so may not be suitable for your requirements.

*can you see me building a mongolian shelter somewhere west of Ross on Wye? I'm keen on the idea of large stove. And also camp site with showers and toilets and no chavs, nerks, people in football tops, fat people, ugly people, people from cleethorpes, or, let's face it, people in general. It may be called a cottage. With roses around the door.

* You have an ebay account? There is something I must own = handmande reels on the story of Acaeton retold with a man in a room with striped wallpaper and antlers. It also involves a car chase. For my viewfinder obviously. They have mis-filed this piece of artistic genius under 'toys'. Foolish error.

*excellent. I have nirvana. I don't have a gun. But I do have an iron.

I fucking love texts. This can be verified by the fact that I hold the record with O2 for the most texts ever sent from a private phone. I didn't get a prize, just a huge bill. Cunts (2600 texts a month doesn't come cheap either)

OUTBOX

*SHAPES woman, shapes. What time's your set? Shall we come in full evening wear? I quite fancy donning a ta-raa-ra

*A straw works. Also shout 'DANCE PORKY, DANCE LIKE YOU'RE ELVIS' then pretend it's the only English you know.

*God only knows what you would have done had you come home to the, now legendary, 'World of fish tank'

*They already have those. I could sew a nutmeg grater into one pair. Ambush pants.

*Ok, need to think of more tricks to play on *****. Have hidden all his contact lenses and moved all the furniture. What next?

*I'm going to baste your testes in gravy and make them into a pie (I make my own pastry)

*You'll have to catch me first gay boy.

*Bring buns.

What was the last text you got?


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t1122
42 posts 

5/17/2008 3:24 am
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Last text sent: Horse!
Last text received: Damnit!


LadyCReturns replies on 5/20/2008 3:05 am:
Were you texting me by any chance?

Someone just texted to ask me to steal them a duck.

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my_profile
258 posts 
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5/18/2008 12:58 pm
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last text sent - "I am at the festival of our people!"

last received - "Things are crazy here. I'm crazy. I need to call."


LadyCReturns replies on 5/20/2008 3:06 am:
I like the idea of a festival for people, anyone's people.

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bodski
3933 posts 
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5/20/2008 12:17 am
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Apart from voicemail telling me I have two messages....

"Bod, can I touch myself a little please"

Evil Religions <--- click here to vote please


LadyCReturns replies on 5/20/2008 3:06 am:
One is probably from me - demanding twinkies.

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t1122
42 posts 

5/20/2008 7:43 am
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I would opt for stealing a goose. Slightly more impressive than a duck but easier than a swan.


LadyCReturns replies on 5/20/2008 12:59 pm:
From a casino? With Binky? Vol-au-vant

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