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Blogs > LadyCReturns > Mind the doormouse. > Down down Down

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8/16/2007 6:10 pm
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Right.So everyone thinks I'm a lunatic right?

Good

Saves me having to live up to anything. Ok so today I wanted to talk about many things, cabbages and kings and all that; but I can't remember what seemed so eloquent this morning. So I'm to talk about old age.

One of my many many sisters has just come out of hospital. She got morphine and all kinds of shit and ambulances and all that near death crap my sisters like to do to me from time to time to keep me on my toes. Fucking bitches. They know nurses love me with my bouncing on beds, stealing of drugs, taking over the tea round, drip-surfing, OK magazine dramatising, Hide and seeking - self.

What freaked me out whilst threatening to drink her IV and repainting her walls to my taste was the old ladies. Do I want to die like that? Taken 'care' of, without family, friends or state to protect me from scary nurses who see me as nothing but an inconvenience? Do I want to die in a magnolia, piss-scented, soon to-be-shut-down-under-new-cutbacks-ward? Do I want to die wiped by women I didn't give birth to? Do I want to die surrounded by no-one? Just proud I outlasted all the other cunts in the nursing home?

Do I want to die in my chair?

Do I want to die in a car?

Do I want to die in suspicious circumstances?

Do I want to die bloated by drugs in my bath or on my toilet?

Do I want to be 150 years old and decaying before my own eyes? Unable to detect the stench of my own rotting carcass because my senses have packed in?

Do I want to live my childhood dream of dying after throwing myself off an industrial chimney?

I could go on about this all night. There was a point, but I blunted it lest Wonka Winehouse took over and stabbed me through my black lungs....

How do you want to die?


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sweetboytoy51
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8/16/2007 7:55 pm
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I want to die with lots and lots and lots of morphine on demand, fuzzily blunting the pain of lung cancer from over four decades (so far -- but hey, I'm an optimist) of smoking too much, too often, and too deeply. Or with one palm slapped onto the centre of my chest thinking "OMFG that hurts like a SOB!!" while my consciousness goes gray around the edges as I slide to the floor and start to notice there's this white tunnel approaching awfully fast from an impossible direction, and I don't I know those people off in the distance?

I don't want to die in an overcrowded nursing home, internally cursing the sacharine strings of a nauseatingly sanitized version of "Yesterday' floating down from cheap ceiling speakers, surrounded by people who look all too familiar and all too dull, and who mostly smell like wee-wee and denture glue. Who uneasily remind me of all the boring railway stations and bus terminal waiting rooms I've wasted too many precious hours inside. With the hated, feared, and fawned-over figure of Big Nurse hovering like a noxious waiter in the background.

Every time I think, write, or talk about this subject, I light another cigarette. And I enjoy them even more.

cheers,
-sbt
think I'll have one more, right now

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bitchwhore4
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8/16/2007 10:15 pm
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I NEVER want to die! I will inform you when I change my mind.


LadyCReturns replies on 8/18/2007 1:48 pm:
Fan-fucking-tastic answer!

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Geekachu
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8/17/2007 5:13 am
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I plan on living forever.

Failing that, I want to go at the end of a 10,000 foot drop without a parachute.

I wanna fly.

_________________________________
"Shun-SHENG duh gao-WAHN." - Mal


LadyCReturns replies on 8/18/2007 1:51 pm:
Suicide pact?
slfdestruct
1672 posts 
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8/17/2007 10:08 am
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With my face buried in his stomach, gnawing on his insides, and being fucked from the back as I do.

Yo ho , Yo ho ... a bloody life for me ....


LadyCReturns replies on 8/18/2007 1:53 pm:
Perfick. I missed you your Randomness

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slutward
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8/20/2007 5:38 pm
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Laughing.

Or opiates. Either way.


LadyCReturns replies on 8/21/2007 6:59 am:
Enough opiates and you should be fairly cheerful

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