Mind the doormouse.

Stop Watching This Blog (50)

I don't drink water - fish fuck in it.

This blog is visible to alt members only. If I find any of it reproduced elsewhere I will dice your spleen and pan fry it.

Forever in Blue jeans Sep 5, 2007 6:51 am
616 views
Today is a good day for singing forever in blue jeans with a mouth full of cottage cheese. Trust me. I just did. It was brilliant!
0 comments
Blog church Sep 4, 2007 3:23 pm
608 views

And she said 'Come' and they did...

Kiddies, lovers, mates, foils and general odd people. During this time of famine and drought on ALT, during this test sent to us by Dog, let us remember that it is in numbers we have strength. Forgive ALT's sins as we forgive ALT who makes our life a fucking boring fuck fuck fuck! Sorry....ahem.

Forgive ALT for being shite - and bask in my warm glowing warming glow.

For mine is the Kingdom (see oil rig) the power (there's no arguing that one) and the glory (can't help with the glory) forever and ever arseholes.

Confess.
1 comment
Ging gang goolie Sep 2, 2007 1:38 pm
671 views
On the whole people are stupid. They can't spell, can't communicate and can't bear to stand out from whatever herd they've fenced themselves in with - and find comfort from giving said herd a stupid name. ('Kidult' being my current favourite)

But get a big fucking dog, chase them away from the sweet smell of herdhide, beat them down, build them up and feed them whiskey and every person has an absolute Bastard inside them who I will most likely get on very well with. Show me your inner cunt.

I'm withering here - my mates blogs take so long to access I have no idea who's doing what and how they're feeling about it, inspiration is at an all time low as I'm so busy doing I ain't writing. Which is a double edged mongoose if ever there were one. I have masses of picture to share which I cannae be arrised to load because I only have a finite time between waxings and I have wit and vim and vigour to spread which is left unspread at the bottom of the jar with the crumbs because I've lost my waders and my big paddle. Bunch of arse.
1 comment
Elvish and welsh Sep 1, 2007 4:37 pm
527 views
Having just been to see Lord of the Rings (the musical no less - and none too shabby) I am fairly sure more people speak Elvish than Welsh. Which is odd.

Elf costumes rock however so for my next big party I am off to find an Elf stockist.
1 comment
co Aug 30, 2007 6:55 pm
509 views
So much coherant shit to talk aBOUT. Yet all I can muster currently is -

cane
lawyer
news reader (possibly)
shoe - remind me about the shoe
champagne supernova - is it love or just FUCKING FUNNY?
the architect - what is his problem anyway, and more importantly, what's for breakfast?
The T chick - Asda, is it the way forward?

Oh fuck I'm sure there's more but it'll come to me and right now there's something very pressing pressing.....
0 comments
taffy Aug 29, 2007 9:30 am
562 views
I watched on Friday as a friend served her birthday cake for grateful slaves to eat from her feet.

Sticky.

But not as sticky as here. I currently feel like I'm wading through toffee and it's BOLLOCKS

I have pictures to share dammit. PICTURES!
0 comments
Scooby Dooby Doo Aug 28, 2007 11:51 am
560 views
Thursday, some odd party (at which I drank coffee all night)

Friday, Foot fetish night in which I locked three people in a cage and left them there because they were annoying (and drank coffee all night)

Saturday, fetish night which went through to Sunday and nearly ended badly after someone thought it was ok to grab me by the arm.

After they'd seen me caning someone in the Dungeon.
Apparently he 'thought' I was friendly. I am. Until you grab me by the arm dufus...

Monday. The big one. The most exhilirating moment of the bank holiday:

Extreme make over home edition day on Style TV!


I'm rock and roll me...
0 comments
Intelligence and kink Aug 23, 2007 6:44 pm
759 views
what the fuck is it?

Why in the name of all things green do people have to JUSTIFY their intellig-anosyic-it's not all about me I have a degree in social studies- I'm not just a sex worker I have 7 degrees, I'm I'm I'm - ence.

Let's shout a few fact.....s for those at the back who wweren't listening shall we?


1. The women and men I call froooooonds have forgotten more about the art of sex and sexuality, fun, hedonism and stupidity than you could ever hope to save on yer hard drive pickle.

2. On the flip side of that coin: Being a fetish/sex/ swinging/naked/ dj/participant etc etc. Does not make you Einstein - and banging on about your Masters/PHD/The number of degrees you have is embarrassing for more than one person...


The lesson? I don't do lessons kiddies - but if you want a tip? Those that bang on about how clever they are.....You know what? I had a tagline, but I'm leaving that one to you lot, here's your run up:

'Had I mentioned I have 5 PHD's But.......
2 comments
Caught by the fuzz Aug 23, 2007 6:28 am
675 views

"Did you know this is a public fountain Miss?"

"It's Mistress and did you know you're dressed as a Policeman?
0 comments
Domina hotel Aug 22, 2007 1:37 pm
638 views

You couldn't make it up. You really couldn't.

If you Glurble the word 'Domina' the first listing you get is for an Hotel group. All fine and dandy - until you read their strap-line:

First the duty, then the pleasure

Whoever made that up is my new best mate. Fucking hilarious.


image. The shoe shine boy at the Domina hotel...
0 comments

To link to this blog (LadyCReturns) use [blog LadyCReturns] in your messages.

January 2009
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
 
6
 
7
 
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
1
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31
 

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date
Geekachu 35M10/26