Kiddies, lovers, mates, foils and general odd people. During this time of famine and drought on ALT, during this test sent to us by Dog, let us remember that it is in numbers we have strength. Forgive ALT's sins as we forgive ALT who makes our life a fucking boring fuck fuck fuck! Sorry....ahem.
Forgive ALT for being shite - and bask in my warm glowing warming glow.
For mine is the Kingdom (see oil rig) the power (there's no arguing that one) and the glory (can't help with the glory) forever and ever arseholes.
On the whole people are stupid. They can't spell, can't communicate and can't bear to stand out from whatever herd they've fenced themselves in with - and find comfort from giving said herd a stupid name. ('Kidult' being my current favourite)
But get a big fucking dog, chase them away from the sweet smell of herdhide, beat them down, build them up and feed them whiskey and every person has an absolute Bastard inside them who I will most likely get on very well with. Show me your inner cunt.
I'm withering here - my mates blogs take so long to access I have no idea who's doing what and how they're feeling about it, inspiration is at an all time low as I'm so busy doing I ain't writing. Which is a double edged mongoose if ever there were one. I have masses of picture to share which I cannae be arrised to load because I only have a finite time between waxings and I have wit and vim and vigour to spread which is left unspread at the bottom of the jar with the crumbs because I've lost my waders and my big paddle. Bunch of arse.
Having just been to see Lord of the Rings (the musical no less - and none too shabby) I am fairly sure more people speak Elvish than Welsh. Which is odd.
Elf costumes rock however so for my next big party I am off to find an Elf stockist.
So much coherant shit to talk aBOUT. Yet all I can muster currently is -
cane lawyer news reader (possibly) shoe - remind me about the shoe champagne supernova - is it love or just FUCKING FUNNY? the architect - what is his problem anyway, and more importantly, what's for breakfast? The T chick - Asda, is it the way forward?
Oh fuck I'm sure there's more but it'll come to me and right now there's something very pressing pressing.....
Why in the name of all things green do people have to JUSTIFY their intellig-anosyic-it's not all about me I have a degree in social studies- I'm not just a sex worker I have 7 degrees, I'm I'm I'm - ence.
Let's shout a few fact.....s for those at the back who wweren't listening shall we?
1. The women and men I call froooooonds have forgotten more about the art of sex and sexuality, fun, hedonism and stupidity than you could ever hope to save on yer hard drive pickle.
2. On the flip side of that coin: Being a fetish/sex/ swinging/naked/ dj/participant etc etc. Does not make you Einstein - and banging on about your Masters/PHD/The number of degrees you have is embarrassing for more than one person...
The lesson? I don't do lessons kiddies - but if you want a tip? Those that bang on about how clever they are.....You know what? I had a tagline, but I'm leaving that one to you lot, here's your run up: