Mind the doormouse.

Stop Watching This Blog (50)

I don't drink water - fish fuck in it.

This blog is visible to alt members only. If I find any of it reproduced elsewhere I will dice your spleen and pan fry it.

Something wicked this way went Jul 4, 2007 1:19 pm
701 views

Don't tell anyone, but I think I got my nasty side back. Life is getting like a series of rather perverse flash backs. Images of a thousand cuts, a rather unsavoury use for a patisserie, something interesting involving entrails, there's a toga in there too (but I have been reading a lot about Nero - horses rest easy, not my bag) Fire, the sudden and overwhelming urge to own a sled team of Emo girls.
0 comments
Who is the nuts? Jul 3, 2007 3:22 pm
713 views
It's a simple 'a' or 'b' here people. Who's the daddy?
Dog the Bounty hunter
Gordon Ramsay
   
1 comment , 12 votes
Three things Jul 3, 2007 1:23 pm
713 views

In no particular order:

1 - How many people are seeing this blog in green?

2 - This Dear Universe: is fucking funny.

3 - Bailey34 is hungry.

4 - I am having trouble counting.

5 - Squirrel passports dammit.



pic. Chee-hooa-hooa dressed as something
1 comment
KABOOM Jul 3, 2007 12:19 pm
680 views

Note to self: Remember squirrel passports.

So. There was this BIG Thunderstorm, and, and hail and stuff and things were going KABOOM and then there was rain and, and
PINK Lightning and rain so hard it set car alarms off and, and I made some cakes, they were supposed to be cookies but I did something wrong and now they're cakes.

pic. Mr Spoon
4 comments
Crunchy Jul 3, 2007 7:25 am
766 views

It's about this time of the afternoon I like to say "YOU'RE ALL FUCKING NUTS!"
and some of you not in the good way.

Now take a deep breath and repeat after me:


It is only the internet
It is only the internet
It is only the internet

There. Doesn't that feel better?
3 comments
Huntisms Jul 2, 2007 2:16 pm
660 views

She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot
0 comments
An ambush of tigers Jul 2, 2007 10:48 am
786 views
Whilst playing the collective noun game (you go through all the clever ones you know and then start making them up) I got to thinking y'all might want to help me out here. The ones I'm looking for today are the collective nouns for:

Ghosts
Magicians
Microsoft engineers
Candles
Perverts
Dragons
Dr Seuss Books

Please feel free to make them up (I actively encourage it you know) they don't have to be clever either. In fact Stupid is better.
2 comments
Bung Ho! Jul 2, 2007 4:15 am
720 views
Quite possibly the most funcking fantastic greeting ever created. Brings together the quintissentially English habit of using the word 'Ho' as a greeting and has fantastic scope for bemusing the fuck out of people (this greeting faded out in the early part of the century)

Anyway, blog wars, again, seriously I'm kinda over it. Especially as all the people who waded in to add their twopennyworth are excellent creative writers in their own right who I usually enjoy reading.

I feel it should all be sorted by a mass ALT online game of 'Worms' winner takes all. and I will man the custard cannon.

Keres is on the cheese-wire

Name your weapons people
3 comments
Huntisms Jun 30, 2007 9:36 am
636 views

My friend here is going to ask you a few questions. Personally I hope you don't answer them because I want you to die and end up in a pork pie.

Now that's how you interrogate a suspect in a meat freezer.
1 comment
Dawgs Jun 29, 2007 12:55 pm
642 views
I own two very large, very intimidating dogs. I also train very large, very intimidating dogs for the owners of London who want their dogs to be a credit not a menace.

I live in a built-up area of London and I counsel and train owners with dog/people fear aggression issues. I am also a rare breed specialist.

Both of my large, intimidating dogs walk off leash at pretty much all times. If you understand anything of American Pit bull mentality it may give you an idea of the temperament of my animals (APBT not here used as an emotive statement but an accurate description) So why do I let them roam?

Because they love and respect me so much that the idea of being more than 4 feet away is more devastating to them than being chained to me and unable to protect me if the occasion arose. Unleashed they are relaxed and friendly, the minute I place a hand on their collars they become Cerberus minus a head...

Sometimes you have to let go of the leash to let someone prove their love


Mood: proud (idea stolen mercilessly from Keres)
2 comments

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