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I don't drink water - fish fuck in it.

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Be me for a day.	Feb 19, 2008 2:21 pm 438 views
Alt is trying to convince me I want to give it money or be less shiny. What's up with that? Oh, the picture thing....right.
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A weekend present for Echo	Feb 15, 2008 9:08 am 500 views
Don't say I never give ya nothing. Keep it slinky you lot, I'm off for le weekend.
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Policing	Feb 13, 2008 6:25 pm 434 views
Not something I've had to do for a long time. But I stopped in on a dog forum I moderate and was (and I quote) "stunned" by people who I have known for years, eaten and drank with, and enjoyed long talks on all subjects from cabbages to kings with; behaving like the worst kind of lynch mob the Southern states ever offered. When I waded in with my delete function and my 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU LOT THINK YOU'RE DOING?' it was like they'd all been snapped out of some kind of Lord of the Flies moment. As they hunkered down to feast on their non-existant virtual kill. The interweb brings out funny sides of people, the side that thinks no-one's looking. Some people shrank away from me in shame, some reared up like I had no right to spoil their "fun". I can honestly say I've never witnessed anything like it. I even got told off for "making two people leave" Golly, two people who thought it was a good wheeze to publically announce that thy use their dogs to 'part the way through the immigrants' Please give me strength - strength to help them pack if they're going. Aside from that, I have spent a pleasant evening using men as trampolines.
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Mangling your turds	Feb 12, 2008 3:06 pm 427 views
lady says: you're all vodka and milked up again J: bonny lass J: I'm not I am all serene and nymph like J: is that what I wanted to say? J: nymph? not sure lady says: not at all - but I did just blow squash over the keyboard through my nose laughing J: sylth? something. lady says: sylph? are you feeling slender? J: yes I think nymph is something else, ahem scuse me.. lady says: a nymph is a forest sprite who dwells with Pan J: I am slender. I was thinking minx like. Good anyway. Virtuous lady says: minx like? lady says: You owe me a keyboard
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Don't say I never give you anything.	Feb 10, 2008 1:27 pm 492 views
Just call me cupid. The following are rather lovely guys who have landed in my inbox. Some, I am now lucky enough to call mates and we swap insults on a daily basis. tylerdurden79Worryingly erudite and Drum&Bass afficionado Very very pretty. jimlad27In serious danger of being mistaken for me if he ever dons a frock. Beautiful and mysterious. And cheerful. All the good things. There you go.
	1 comment

Walking in	Feb 8, 2008 6:15 pm 560 views
Good afternoon Ma'am and welcome to the BDSM walk-in. All of our Doms are 100% beef. Made of the finest mix of trust and savage kindness. A heady mix of beauty and brutality. Each Dom is guaranteed to have passed our stringent health and safety tests and scrubbed cleaner than a stainless steel surface. They are abusive at the right time, sensitive and guiding at the right time, violent when it suits you, publicly ridiculing you as and when it ties in with exactly what you were thinking. Guiding you gently when you feel most sensitive and pushing you like a kindly mentor when you need it. Garnished with a sensible dose of psychology, not just general, but yours personally - each one is perfectly suited to your needs. Including being prepared for any and every major malfunction and tantrum you may throw - calmly navigating your emotions like a smooth prow. What do you mean you can't get that from a Walk-in? A hasty meet. Do you women ever wonder WHY you are dissapointed/ These men are not your saviours, nor are they responsible in any way for your needs until you have given them the tools to support you. I never thought I'd say this in my outside voice, but they are not mind-readers dammit. If you put yourself in the hands of one who pretends H/he is and allow yourself to be swept away by words on a screen the you have let all decent Doms down by creating bleating fodder for abusive wankers. Anyone would think this had been sparked by something, a close mate etc etc As it happens, the bleating has just been driving me up the fucking wall for some time.
	1 comment

Hiding.	Feb 8, 2008 4:44 am 575 views
Firstly, I would like to say hello to a lot of people who emailed me after the post about our kids all being nuts according to the system. I am extremely pleased to hear from you all, we are either raising a generation of the cleverest, smartest and most healthy minded munchkins ever; or we may be creating WW3. Who can say? Secondly, I would like to draw your attention to A.A.Gill It's not often I push a writer at people; but having just read a collection of his work I felt the urge to share. Starbucks: "American coffee is only coffee because they say it is. It's actually a pale, scalding version of junior-school, jam-jar brush water...I can't remember the last time I was served something as foul as its version of a cappuccino. To begin with it took longer to make than a soufflé ...An hour and a half later I was presented with a mug. A mug. One of those American mugs where the lip is so thick, you have to be able to disengage your jaw like a python to fit it in your mouth. It contained a semi-permeable white mousse − the sort of stuff they use to drown teenagers in Ibiza, or pump into cavity walls. I dumped in two spoonfuls of sugar. It rejected them. Having beaten the malevolent epidermis with the collection of plastic and wooden things provided, I managed to make it sink. Then with both hands I took a sip. Then a gulp. Then chewed. I had a momentary sense of drowning in snowman poo, then, after a long moment, a tepid sludge rose from the deep. This was reminscent of gravy browning and three-year-old Easter eggs. How can anyone sell this stuff? How can anyone buy it twice? And this was only a small one − a baby. The adult version must be like sucking the outlet of a nuclear power station. There was a pamphlet about fair trade, and how Starbucks paid some Nicaraguan Sancho a reasonable amount for his coffee so that he now had a mule to go with his thirteen children, leaky roof and fifteen coffee bushes. It made not screwing the little no-hope wetback into penury sound like the most astonishing act of charitable benevolence. And they just had to print a pamphlet about it so we all know what sort of selfless, munificent, group-hug people we're dealing with. Magnificent.
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Hehehehehe	Feb 6, 2008 10:10 am 607 views
lady says: I was reading the other day how certain peoples have rotting fish at Christmas to remind them of the hars realities and hardships of life lady says: made me think of you lady says: then burst out laughing V says: hahaha V says: yeah that sounds norwegian V says: well I am what I am lady says: so's shirley bassey lady says: it;s nothing to be proud of V says: pride is the secular glory of pedantic men - I am divine, but not proud of it lady says: I had an argument with a fat person today V says: how tedious V says: its often easier to jump over them than to walk around lady says: It really got tome for about half an hour - and then I realised he's an angrey person and has chosen to be a dick lady says: no matter how many witty retorts I make he will remain a dick lady says: and it's not up to me to point out he;s a dick lady says: how fucking philosophical am i? V says: thats pragmaticisdm dear V says: but if you really wanna know... V says: you are pretty fucking philosophical V says: WAAAAY above the heads of most V says: I bet you giggle a lot over that lady says: It's because I'm curious lady says: double edged sword mind lady says: Ignorance is indeed blis V says: yep
	3 comments

BANG BAng bang	Feb 4, 2008 1:28 pm 598 views
I'm not a fan of cancer. I refuse to capitalize the cunt. When you're very young, you watch an advert for Marie Stopes or somesuch and read that of a group of friends (five girls) three will die of cancer. And you ignore it, but it lurks in your mind, hilariously and ironically (note to Americans: Ironic is not a traffic jam when you're already late unless you're a town planner) like a cancer. But it shouldn't really be ambushing us at 30. When I was young, cancer happened to ladies with salt & pepper hair and a smoking habit. Now, anyone who has used sprays to flavour their sweat is at a serious risk. It didn't leap out on us as we staggered merrily through life, more liberated than our mothers, more terrifying than our fathers. By golly is it God? Is he telling us off? No! You tossers! God is something you created along with your fucked up version of time. Has it ever occured to you we might be more than 2008 years from civilisation? I am annoyed at Christianity again for reasons clear. Amazing things have happened today. Friends are dying (we've planned a trip to Disney - the corporate wankers let the undead skip the queue) and my daughter has, fascinatingly been described as "unusual and innapropriate" They say it like it's a bad thing. The day any sister, brother, or offspring of mine allows adults to indoctrinate without question will be a cold day in the Bahamas. Why did I teach them all this? Because adults are bullies. Sexual abuse is harder with a child who is aware adults are fallable and stupid. Abuse of their mind is harder when kids are aware that adults have problems too. And mood swings. Every single one of my sisters and brothers and offspring are described by the system as 'attention seeking and hard to handle' Perfect. They know their own worth and question the system. How many mums and dads were brave enough to do that? Cancer will kill 6 of my siblings. Seems true. So let them live.
	1 comment

Muse	Jan 28, 2008 4:10 pm 639 views
Domme do mme do me. I neeeeeeeeeed it, need you, need NOwant...no need. What is it I need you say? Errrrrmmmm Whatever You want. That's it! That's IT! Whatever you want. Mould me, shape me, bend me to your will. Mind of my own?Sure. Why not? I mean - If you say so Mistress. I'll do ANYTHING to get into your mind pants Sigh. I'm sorry - tell me - what did I do wrong? PUNISH ME! NOW!I mean; please What do you mean? I'm submissive - I AM! You HAVE TO! Fucking bitch. fucking bitch, who the fuck do you think you are?
	2 comments

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