Mind the doormouse.

Stop Watching This Blog (50)

I don't drink water - fish fuck in it.

This blog is visible to alt members only. If I find any of it reproduced elsewhere I will dice your spleen and pan fry it.

Oooohhhh he's good! Jul 15, 2007 12:20 pm
796 views

Whilst I appreciate this could be a circuitous route, it's a damn fine effort. Damn fine

My dear LadyC,

My name is *******, and since I am 26 years your senior, live more than 5000 miles away and have never had the slightest inclination to submit to anyone, I seriously doubt that you and I will ever have any sort of sexual interaction. However, I read your profile, then looked at your blog and smiled.

The fact is, LadyC, I cannot help but like you. We will probably never meet, it is unlikely that you'll write back to me, but I like you nonetheless. And so if, by chance, you'd like to make friends with an old, bald Dom from Arizona who can't help wondering how on Earth you manage to breathe in that beautiful blue corset, then please, accept my network invitation and write back.

If not, I still like you.

see? Goooooood
1 comment
He said "oh" Jul 12, 2007 6:11 pm
793 views
He said "oh" with that same dumb look on his face.

That same challenge.

He wasn't 'new to all this' he has a Miss. Mistress, Lady, Master and Commander; I forget.

He says "oh" because he's daring me to challenge him, to make his evening worthwhile. What he forgot is even being near me makes it all worthwhile. We took a walk around the dungeon. He said "oh", as each bit of kit we passed was above his level, or he was too 'Dom' to deal with it. Until we got to a St Andrew's and I did nothing more violent than asked him to stand and assume the position whilst I scratched his back.

"oh" he said.

0 comments
medical Jul 10, 2007 5:59 pm
927 views
To EVERY medical motherfucker who ever owed me a favour - I call in that favour now. If you're a pretender please fuck off cause this is serious. EVERY favour. EVERY contact - I need you now.
2 comments
Scrubious pip Jul 10, 2007 3:51 pm
796 views

Poetry and Dj. For the first time brought togtehr in non-wanky form. Find it, download it, buy it, spread it:

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoakes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you're done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.

The Beatles - Were just a band.
Led Zepplin - Just a band.
The Beach Boys - Just a band.
The Sex Pistols - Just a band.
The Clash - Just a band.
Crass - Just a band.
Minor Threat - Just a band.
The Cure - Just a band.
The Smiths - Just a band.
Nirvana - Just a band.
The Pixies - Just a band.
Oasis - Just a band.
Radiohead - Just a band.
Bloc Party - Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys - Just a band.
The next big thing - JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say "he say, she say, we say, make some noise" - kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always kill.
1 comment
Updates Jul 10, 2007 1:09 pm
558 views

Of a worrying nature.
The poll Who is the nuts? has suddenly gone to neck and neck between the be-mulleted bounty hunter and the psycho chef. Someone please rectify this so I can continue the series.

The goon featured in Please give generously returned mail and apologised stating he was 'New to all this' *sigh* and asked me to lunch. Other than offering to feast on his brains I couldn't think of a suitable response (am no BDSM life coach)
0 comments
sleep Jul 10, 2007 11:46 am
738 views

I cannot sleep when there are voices in another room, even the television. I am of such a curious disposition I just have to work out what they're saying
3 comments
One Jul 8, 2007 2:04 pm
724 views

One singular sensation
Every little step she takes.
One thrilling combination
Every move that she makes.
One smile and suddenly nobody else will do;
You know you'll never be lonely with you know who.
One moment in her presence
And you can forget the rest.
For the girl is second best
To none,
Son.
Ooooh! Sigh! Give her your attention.
Do...I...really have to mention?
She's the One?
She walks into a room
And you know
She's un-
Commonly rare, very unique,
Peripatetic, poetic and chic.
She walks into a room
And you know from her
Maddening pose, effortless whirl,
She's the special girl.
Stroll-ing,
Can't, help,
All of her qualities extol-ling.
Loaded with charisma is my
Jauntily sauntering, ambling shambler.
She walks into a room
And you know you must
Shuffle along, join the parade.
She's the quintessence of making the grade.
This is whatcha call
Trav-ling.
Oh, strut your stuff!
Can't get enough
Of her.
Love her.
I'm a son of a gun,
She is one of a
Kind...

Ooooh! Sigh! Give her your attention.
Do...I...really have to mention?
She's the...
She's the...
She's the...
One!
2 comments
terror Jul 5, 2007 6:57 pm
844 views

I hate that fucking word. Anyway.

The massive problem here is 90% of you, if brought to the table, and asked to perform, play, indulge, whatever label you've stuck on it; would be unable to do so.

Because it's been sanitised. Pasturised, boiled until it's clean, nit-picked, hen-pecked, regulated, saturated and boil-washed.

Are you happy now? Now we have a set of rules and regulations and have made kink devoid of anything kinky does it sit better with you? Can you now complain about being misunderstood without the pressures of actually being misunderstood?

Now it's all just something to be an 'expert' in. What equipment you use, what 'scenes' you enact, what your limits are. On paper. Signed, sealed delivered: I'm yours if you respect that being submissive does not mean I have to do what you say, or that Dominant means you have sat the regulatory exam.

Yes there are arseholes, yes there is danger, yes there is stuff even we consider bad mojo.
But without danger, without stepping off the edge, without falling and not knowing who will catch you (and indeed what they will do to you when they do) there is no point.

Life has no point if it's bubble-wrapped.

*squirell passports*
4 comments
Huntisms Jul 5, 2007 5:48 pm
681 views

Sam: If it was to do with football , he'd have serious injuries.

Hunt: He's dead; that's quite serious
0 comments
Please give generously Jul 4, 2007 2:14 pm
807 views

There are those that need help:
---------------------------------------------------
> Sender: james****
> To: LadyCReturns
> Date: Jul 4, 2007 8:43 PM BST
>
> HI,
>
> I cant believe how arrogant you are, anyway, your evident self confident,run of the mill, "I've got a good body so pls listen to me", rubbish is vexing, so without further a do, you need disciplining especially when you come across an Alpha male like me.
> Oh pls don't bother profiling me in your tiny mind, as I suspect you will be well off the mark.
> J, Ciao.
3 comments

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